I would never have had the courage to say this in the past, but when I was in college I spent most of my summer traveling around the United States. I always loved those early morning train rides, and even now, if I haven’t already been on a train and been on a train I will most likely be on one sometime in the near future. The first time I tried traveling on a train was my freshman year of college.
I remember being completely terrified as I hopped on and off the train. I was not a very confident person and I was probably scared to death of heights and trains. However, I did not miss the actual trip to college because I was so terrified of the train that at the end I was literally on the train for several hours. The next time I tried traveling on a train was when I went on vacation in Europe and back in the United States.
If you’re going to travel for a vacation, the last thing you should expect is to be scared on the train. I was so scared that I literally did not sit down on the train. When I finally did get to sit down, I was completely exhausted and just so utterly terrified that I was literally on the train all night in my own bed. I am not exaggerating when I say that I was literally on the train for several hours.
The train ride was just like a bad horror movie. The lights were bright and flashing, the sound of screaming and yelling and shouting was deafening, and at the end of my trip I just wanted to die. I cried so much I cried for hours and hours, and I was so scared that I left the train and went home.
If you’re still not completely convinced that I’m an evil genius and that I’m going to kill everyone on that train in the next hour or so I’m going to explain. I am going to describe the train ride. I am going to describe the entire experience in great detail with you, my readers.
On the train I was scared so scared I was ready to hurl myself off the train. I was scared so scared I was ready to die. I was scared so scared I was ready to start my life over because Im so scared.
Sounds dramatic? It is. It happened to me after a particularly rough night of drinking with friends when I was out for the night. It was the first time in my life that I ever said, “I love this moment.” It took me a while to realize that I was saying it to myself because I truly do love this moment. I love how it feels to be in this moment where the world is falling apart and I am about to be completely destroyed.
This is actually the first time I’ve ever said it, but I love how I said it. It felt so good when I said it. But, hey, everyone says it. I guess I’m not alone in my love of the words “I love this moment.” I’ve said this to myself a lot.
I would love to say that I feel that the moment I feel in this moment is more important than the moment I’m actually experiencing. But, that would be a lie. I would love just to experience the moment in this moment, but I feel like the moment I am experiencing is more important than the moment I am actually experiencing.
The fact is that you can never experience a moment the same way twice. And if I were to ask you if you could tell the difference between two moments, you’d probably have to stop me in my tracks with a’sure.